Her eyes were the home for a silent prayer

I still cant correct those features right, whose face i am striving to paint;
I saw her under the mask of the night, her face still very faint.

Her eyes were definitely the home for a silent prayer;
Beauty was in her blood, every inch every layer.

I wish i was the jewel which would tremble in her ear;
Just to clasp those dimples, which were so very dear.

She was the like dew drops falling on still water between cracked walls;
Her dark hair, dense and flowing like any angelic water fall.

I told about my love to the rocks and the trees, whose smile turned daisied into roses;
She wasnt the creation of one but millions of heavenly forces.

After a thousand sunsets, i saw a girl so beautiful like the moon;
That night when i met her, December turned into June.

She was like the petals which had blown from the roses to fall on to the grass;
God Thank, now that my name is spelled next to her first name in golden brass.

I still cant correct those features right, whose face i am striving to paint;
I am married now for half a decade, her face still very faint.

Question : Book IX of Wordsworth's THE PRELUDE contains the exhortation: Bliss was it in that dawn to be alive...............

Answer : But to be young was very heaven.. Amen

Love at first sight

I always believed in love at first sight;
till i met her on that moonless night.

It was dark, she was alone, drenched in rain;
Her hourglass figure reminded me of the Siberian crane.

With every step towards her, she trembled with fear;
my poetic feelings jumped from third to fifth gear.

With poetry on my lips, i was ready for the big show;
I was slightly nervous, sweat trickled down on my brow.

As i saw her, in amazement and shock my face went "RED";
"Son", the old lady quipped, can you spare me some money for some "BREAD"

I always believed in love at first sight;
till i met her on that moonless night.

HAIKU NEWS OF THE WEEK

Well Dusshera is through, all news channels had the same content all over, yawn.... there was ravan, ricky and ganguly all over....... coulndt understand where was the actual ramayan going on...... after a morbid 30 minutezzz, i mutezzd my TV and i surfezzzd for something satirically funny stuff.

This is what i came through

DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS:  An australian boy took this seriously when he wreaked havoc at the zoo while feeding a croc. A turtle, four western blue tongue lizards, two bearded dragons, two thorny devil lizards found their way though the jaws of a 3 mtr croc.... hmmmm .... all of these were exotic animals. The boy all of 7 completed this ritual by bludgeoning the animals to death and handed the croc his breakfast. The Zoo authorities have decided to sue the parents of this wonder boy...

PALIN's DNA - The never ending mythical PALIN's aura never ends. Genealogy experts said that Republican vice president Palin is distantly related to Late Princess Diana and Late President Franklin roosevelt. Ancestory.com said that Palin is the 10th distant cousin of Diana while she is the ninth cousin of the President. To make matters complicated, the web site also quoted Obama and Brad Pitt to be distantly related......... hmmm didnt they look at the colour issue or are they relating to the relation from the evolution of Adam and Eve.

Alistair Cook's authobiography- Isnt this guy just 23 and only 3 years in international cricket.... couldnt beleive my eyes when i saw his interview on BBC..... talking about his autobiography.... does Richie Benaud have one?

FIR filed by a cop - Vietnamese authorities are searching for a masked criminal who reportedly robbed a district police station. The Dan Tri online newspaper quoted investigators in Quang Nam as saying the armed robber forced the duty officer to hand over his mobile phone and some money. Kudos to this masked criminal

Hmm... back to the channel surfing, someone is going all the way to Lanka to find out where Ravan was killed....surf surf,  OPERATION BADLA - RICKY PUNTER is back....., surf surf..... Mumbai mere BAAP ki hai.............. surf surf BIG BOSS... NO WAY.... surf surf D'RONA's trailer - priety says movie is fabolous......... better write a blog about it

BULL YA BEARS - NAH BUNNY SHOW ON WALL STREET

A 700 point crash...ouch. market to go below 10K ......ooof......no increments this year...oooi maa/biwi/GF, a quarter close admist dusshera and diwali.........arre mat yaad dilao yaar, then what about financial analysts on PLAYBOY ...oomph bring it on

Well when the chips are down, sex is the best thing to cheer you up. Playboy the adult entertainment magazine, might just get your spirits UP.

The adult entertainment magazine, famous for its photo spreads of nude women is launching a search for models to pose for its upcoming feature, "Women of Wall Street" for its Feb 2009 edition.

Playboy has in the past published editions with themes such as Women of Enron and Women of Worldcom, now comes up with this idea "Women of Wall Street" to cheer up moods in a dull and sombre market. "When the news gets bad, then maybe that's a chance to make people smile by coming up with something that puts a different twist on it," said Gary Cole, Playboy's photo editor.

To be eligible for the shoot, the model (female) must be 18 years of age and must have worked in a financial institution. 

So coming Feb 09, for starters; quit looking at ICICIdirect.com (by popular vote) you aint gonna get richer, stop reading financial news portals....... just oogle by visiting playboy.com to get real hot Wall Street action. I bet even your boss may put in his shirt.

FORGET THE BULLS AND THE BEARS, ITS THE REIGN OF THE BUNNY.

P.S - Disclaimer - this article is meant only for readers over 18........ I do not hold any playboy.com stocks (hmm not a bad company to invest in - what do you say) and neither do i have any affiliations with LAY-MAN (lehman)

GE & G(oogl)E - holy matrimony

What do GE and Google have in common - while one is the biggest company in the world with their hands into everything we touch, the other is the dominant internet giant who touches our lives everyday.

Business reasons can create strange matrimonies and bedmates. The two monoliths have  not worked in the past together and  have parallely different work cultures, this new partnership could just about change the way we deal with energy in the future.

Ge's announcement on this new partnership comes in the wake of its stock plunging to its 5 year lows on the back of the financial meltdown with its financing arm GE Money and its Real estate businesses.

Pundits have predicted Google to buy over Amazon and New York times in the new future, can it be possible that David (Google) can take over GE in the future.

Oil, Gaaru and Obama

Satire news of this week

GAARU BANK OF INDIA

Sources in the ministry have decided to rechristen the RBI as THE REDDY/RAO BANK OF INDIA. (now with us having two GAARU Governors in quick sucession). If Akshay K were to make a movie by the name GAARU is FAADU, am sure it will break SIK by millions.


NANO to OIL
Ever wondered why Oil has slipped by $40 a barrel in the last month. I have a strange co-incidence to attribute to this.
Ever since Mamata raised the red flag at Singur, i guess the punters around the world got a hint that the demand for fuel is to go down on account of a delay in the NANO launch. The entire world including India was gearing up to drive this $2500 car (wonder if that drove up the fuel prices in the first instance).
If TATA decides (GOD forbid) to scrap this project, i guess, the crude oil will further slip well below the $80 mark.......

MCCain to get Osama
In a press release, MC Cain has said that he knows what it takes to get Osama, which his two predecessors couldn't.
After creating quite a flur, with this statement, a press release was issued in which the media said the word Obama was misspelled as Osama......

Titanic part deux

Love is blind an old saying, believe me i have lost my way;
At Baskin & Robbins we last met, ever since those 3 magical words all i have to say.

She's in the air i breathe, the world i see, the water i drink;
I code name this mission Titanic II, believe me this love ship wont sink.

So off i set sail on my love boat to harbour her heart into mine;
She was a bomb a nuclear, finally someone had ashamed Alfred Einstein.

At the movies, parks, restaurants, a year passed like a week;
From mercury to mars, her hand was all i wanted to seek.

So with a love song, bouquet of flowers, and a valentines card to propose i was ready;
Next mornin, she in turn handed me a card.... to my best friend she was to marry.

I felt back stabbed, Brutus struck again at Julius Caesar;
Well Titanic part deux is not far away, now with her twin sister.

Question - In which play of 1594 do old friends Proteus and Valentine fall out over the love of the beauteous Silvia?
Answer - Tow Gentlemen of Verona

Withdrawal of an archaic guidance note

ICAI has finally withdrawn a much awaited guidance note, which was no longer valid esp with AS 26 out in the fray 2 years back.

With the IFRS convergence happening, we can hope to see other such moves by the ICAI.

Extracts of the note by the ICAI are below.

Withdrawal of Guidance Note on Treatment of Expenditure during Construction Period - (19-08-2008)
The Council, at its 280th meeting, held on August 7-9, 2008, has decided to withdraw the Guidance Note on Treatment of Expenditure during Construction Period, as the same is no longer relevant in the present day context.

Chinese olympics - some observations

Well it looks like chinese new year is on.. Read on.

ZERO CARBON CITY IN CHINA
China is building its first ever homiletic city just outside Shanghai, there is an island about the size of navi mumbai. The Green city will have no gasoline/diesel powered vehicles, has 100% renewable energy, green roofs, and will recycle everything. The city is to be called Dongtan and it should house about 5,000 people by the end of 2010, with estimates of 500,000 by 2050. The goal is to build a livable city that is energy efficient, non-polluting, and protects the wildlife in the area.

Now if you think I'm exaggerating, but they had a practice today in Beijing for the Olympics and a javelin thrower threw the javelin up into the air and it stuck. China seriously needs a zero carbon city

CONDOMS - Biggest chinese order

If you guys invested in metal stocks, on account of the Chinese demand, well i guess many of us did not invest in Coy's which made condoms (anyone knows a listed company). Well guess the number of condoms which the olympic authorities have ordered ..... a satirical 100,000. This has been distributed free to all the athletes. On numbers this works to a per capita; 1 condom per athlete per day.... Chinese officials fear this number may still be short...... With the sensex swinging big time, guess sex can swing the numbers of the condom companies.

Funny quotes on the olympics

China is getting ready for the Olympics. The official motto for the Olympics is 'One World, One Dream.' Restrictions Apply. Tibet Not Included." --Jay Leno"

There's excitement in the air over the Olympics...also lead, arsenic, benzene." --David Letterman"

Beijing skies are so polluted that Chinese authorities are planning emergency measures for the Olympics. For example, protesters will now only be run over with hybrid tanks." --Jay Leno

"The government of China announced that it will ban restaurants from serving dog meat during the Olympics. Which gives new meaning to the phrase, 'Hello Kitty.'" - Connan O Brien

"The olympic authorities intended that the games were timed to start with the date of the release of a Sardar movie SIK (singh is king)" - Vicky Sarin.

Her eyes- home for a silent prayer (A Real life Catch 22 story)

The following lines are recitals of my real life when i was hmm young.... Any resemblance to any dame or Miss other than my better half is purely incidental and is not to be construed otherwise.

I still cant correct those features right, whose face i am striving to paint;
I saw her under the mask of the night, her face still very faint.

Her eyes were definitely the home for a silent prayer;
Beauty was in her blood, every inch every layer.

I wish i was the jewel which would tremble in her ear;
Just to clasp those dimples, which were so very dear.

She was the like dew drops falling on still water between cracked walls;
Her dark hair, dense and flowing like any angelic water fall.

I told about my love to the rocks and the trees, whose smile turned daisied into roses;
She wasnt the creation of one but millions of heavenly forces.

After a thousand sunsets, i saw a girl so beautiful like the moon;
That night when i met her, December turned into June.

She was like the petals which had blown from the roses to fall on to the grass;
God Thank, now that my name is spelled next to her first name in golden brass.

I still cant correct those features right, whose face i am striving to paint;
I am married now for half a decade, her face still very faint.

Question : Book IX of Wordsworth's THE PRELUDE contains the exhortation: Bliss was it in that dawn to be alive...............

Answer : But to be young was very heaven.. Amen

Kiss-met Konnections

Well i happened to See a K movie - am stressing on the word K so that hopefully Ekta kapoor's KKKK luck could rub off a lot of the distress i went thru.

Well the distress was majorily all about Vidya Balan. This is what i have to comment on her

• Question - can you guess the thickness of her arms..............ans -definitely an inch thicker than Shahid's


• She carries a coterie of older people in her movies(Munnabhai/Parineeta) so that she can look young


• She needs a big hyperdermic tones of fat removal around her hips


• Another na-real award for her dress style - esp the red polka dot poodlie dress

On the movie front - i am not sure which movies were stitched together to make a connection picture this

• Just my luck for the kismat part


• Lage raho Munnabhai's plot of Vidya saving old people to make Vidya look younger


• Raju ban gaya Gentleman

Well with Palika Bazaar down and out on account of police raids, there is no other choice for us weekend movie buffs - but to go and spend at the cinemas to watch movies as this, kismet hi kharab hai.

Farewell in GE

Thoughts of my last day in GE's virtual space

My appointment letter with GE mentioned FP&A, upon joining I met Nitin and he introduced me to ops - confused, I went to Ajith Highyer (HR) - in his lingo - dai macchi kawala pade de (means dude you're sunk) - FP&A, means fast paced & active…….. - the next 15 days hmmm… I was staring at migrating almost all of our subsytems incl.. excel into Orbi…………..

• I learnt the ABCD of this industry under the Golden era of ABCD (Anil/Badal/Chandan/Dham)
• Subhash Ghai will surely be jealous, I started working with not one but 4 M's, Mukesh, Mishra (BK), Mani and Manoj J -MMMM…... great time working with you guys
• Along the way, I was the recipient of Adi's referal bonus--till abt a month back, am sure he wanted a share of it… thank GOD he is now in AOL…
• A lot of what I learned and earned in GE would go to the credit of Rajeev, Giresh, Dinesh, Chander, Kishore, Santosh, Naresh, Javed, Akhilesh. Will miss you guys
• BKM's chair got a huge relief when CAS was here - the poor andy dandy chair was reclused to a life of a 115 degree angle - during CAS it went back to its degree of its birth - 90.... Kya Karen…..Tao to that
• I spokeTamil again after a hiatus of 5 years in Tamil Financial Services ooops TFS - with virtually the 5th floor being called the TAM floor (bhaskar/satish/neel/laskhmi/radhika/dhanaraj/orbi helpdesk excepting the tall leggyyyy Orbi 2……………..)
• Then there was the CAG NEA reco plastered with tourniquets, fustians and doses of Suresh's hypodermics, a supine BKM on his cerulean chair, the ever mellifluous Balbir, abstruse DJ, trumpets & scones Manoj Misra, the martinet Mukesh, the greagarious Aditi and Sakshi, bhatia in his reveries…sprinkled with his stentotarian laughter, cavalier & obesquious vinay, Adi's burlesquesness and of late his homiletics, prognostic jodi of sanju & deepu, affable muku's strafes, the inveterate phoner -Vivek, alacritic Radha and finally my first boss "fecund-physcogenic mind -subcutaneous - anthromorphic" Nitin, If I missed anyone, true apologies.. as if have run out of adjectives….. Oh shit - yes I missed Arshan - aap corporate mein ho mian (as always we forget u), isliye me apna mail aapke naam per sign of karta hoon.
  Screech...this stuff is getting toooo long…

Question - what is the only thing which the US now produces on its own

Answer - Beer and Prostitutes (quoted by Marc Faber)

RBI Governor presented the First Quarter Review of Annual Statement on Monetary Policy for the Year 2008-09 today. Highlights

• Bank Rate kept unchanged.
• Reverse Repo Rate under LAF kept unchanged.
• Repo Rate increased by 50 basis points from 8.5 per cent to 9.00 per cent.
• Cash Reserve Ratio to be increased by 25 basis points to 9.0 per cent with effect from the fortnight beginning August 30, 2008.
• GDP growth projection for 2008-09 revised from the range of 8.0-8.5 per cent to around 8.0 per cent, barring domestic or external shocks.
• While the policy actions would aim to bring down the current intolerable level of inflation to a tolerable level of below 5.0 per cent as soon as possible and around 3.0 per cent over the medium-term, at this juncture a realistic policy endeavour would be to bring down inflation from the current level of about 11.0-12.0 per cent to a level close to 7.0 per cent by March 31, 2009.
• While there are early signs of some moderation in money supply and deposit growth, they continue to expand above the indicative projections warranting continuous vigilance and appropriate and timely policy responses.
• In view of the evolving environment of heightened uncertainty in global markets and the dangers of potential spillovers to domestic markets, liquidity management will continue to receive priority in the hierarchy of policy objectives over the period ahead.
• Barring the emergence of any adverse and unexpected developments in various sectors of the economy, assuming that capital flows are effectively managed, and keeping in view the current assessment of the economy including the outlook for growth and inflation, the overall stance of monetary policy in 2008-09 will broadly continue to be:
• To ensure a monetary and interest rate environment that accords high priority to price stability, well-anchored inflation expectations and orderly conditions in financial markets while being conducive to continuation of the growth momentum.
• To respond swiftly on a continuing basis to the evolving constellation of adverse international developments and to the domestic situation impinging on inflation expectations, financial stability and growth momentum, with both conventional and unconventional measures, as appropriate.
• To emphasise credit quality as well as credit delivery, in particular, for employment-intensiv e sectors, while pursuing financial inclusion.

Romeo to Frankenstein - the love saga continues

Life without my precious love has become as barren as winter rain;
Without her, i have become a love monster on the line of the one created by Frankenstein.

April1, when i first saw her, she looked as graceful as a fawn;
how can i forget that moment, when i deliberately collided into her on that lush green lawn

Love is blind, Romeo said, believe me i was as blind as a bat;
I proposed to her with a blue rose, she accepted being a complacent cat.

She was a welcome change in my life, like dew drops on parched flowers;
We were on the verge of making history by becoming this millennium's legendary lovers.

I proposed marriage, she said there was a hitch, her dad was as dangerous as any machine gun;
If she went against her wishes, she was sure her dad would make her a nun.

Her dad 'er' a possible 8th wonder, hairless as an egg;
Uncle i said, i love your daughter, her hand is all i beg.

Kicked out of her house, she was shut in her room, her dad cut out all telephone connections;
Talking to her dad, proved to be costlier than any Hillary Clinton's presidential election.

Its true that i loved her from the bottom of my heart, and it was as naked as a peeled apple;
Next morning, church bells rang, guess what, she had become a nun in her dad's very own chapel.

Question - If a burn that affects only the epidermis is defined as first degree, what is the term for a burn that reaches the subcutaneous tissue?
Answer: A third degree burn

Catch 22 Lyric - the ulti funda love story

God definitely made me for her, just like "HE" made flowers for the bees;
Still remember those mystical words of her, teach me economics please.

Immediately read behind those words, coz she pretty well knew in economics i was a big zero;
In an hour of economics, she said Vicky you are my biggest hero.

She was "er" a million times more beautiful than Ash, coz she was so beautifully lavished like the moon;
Life would once again become like the arid deserts of Sahara, when on a date she would desert me very soon.

she was the single most valuable asset of my life, coz she was always close to my heart;
Our love started compounding, as we started graphing our love chart.

I was jealous of her countless admirers, but her love for me was as boundless as the ocean;
She always stuck to me in every happy, sad and almost every occasion.

God definitely made me for her, just like "HE" made flowers for the bees;
Anyone's who thinking, i was talking of a girl, sorry it was the Indian rupee

Securitisation vs sale of receivables connundrum

Case: Whether securitisation rules of the Reserve Bank of India should be applied to sale/assignment of receivables.

My analysis.

Para 2 of the RBI - Securitisation is a process by which assets are sold to a bankruptcy remote special purpose vehicle (SPV) in return for an immediate cash payment. The cash flow from the underlying pool of assets is used to service the securities issued by the SPV. Securitisation thus follows a two-stage process. In the first stage there is sale of single asset or pooling and sale of pool of assets to a 'bankruptcy remote' special purpose vehicle (SPV) in return for an immediate cash payment and in the second stage repackaging and selling the security interests representing claims on incoming cash flows from the asset or pool of assets to third party investors by issuance of tradable debt securities.

By virtue of this definition, RBI does not intend to rope in pure sale of financial receivables between two parties at arms length price. I view this guidelines a measure to regulate SPV' and more importantly protect investors interests who subscribe to PTC's issued on the security of the pool of receivables to third party investors.

Guidelines on regulating SPV's, the Securitisation Act are all in the mode of continuous evolution as can be seen by the frequent changes/notifications on the Acts relating to SPV's. As the process also involves issuing of PTC's to third parties, there is a fiduciary responsibility of the RBI to closely protect the investors interests. A reading through Para 7 and Para 8 of the guidelines throws light on the RBI's fiduciary responsibility on insulating and minimizing financial risks to parties involved to complete a securitisation transaction.

These stiffer guidelines are akin to the differentiation which RBI maintains for NBFC's accepting public deposits and those that do not. NBFC's accepting public deposits are closely monitored and have stringent regulations than those who do not as public money is involved and it is RBI's responsibility to ensure there is no financial loss to public depositors.

A similarity in the nature of the transactions between securitisation and assignment should not be driving the accounting and measurement principles. The true sale criteria is to be viewed as a brightline to test the rights and obligation assertion while drawing up the financial statements.

True sale is also more of a substance over form issue and should not be restricted to guidelines laid by the RBI (in para 7) as these maynot be exhaustive. For eg. RBI's guidelines have no reference to synthetic securitizations or Tier II level securitizations, but intrue sense these will be need to be covered. Securitisation transactions are in the nascent stage in India and are not as maturedas US markets. We can definitely see more circulars over the next fewyears, when markets become more and more innovative and matured.

Differentiation between assignment and securitisation as per RBI is clearly laid GAAP practice in India also has a differentiation in the accounting treatment. Also refer ICICI's accounting policies Draft Accounting standard AS 30 of ICAI (issued after RBI's circular)clearly lays down profits to be recognized upfront upon sale of financial assets and there is no reference to securitisation (as there is a guidance note to that effect) already issued.Assuming Company X were to sell its entire balance sheet (which comprises 99% of loans), in an outright buy over, would the position be the same that you will require Company X to defer its profits as per securitisation norms.Staying on securitisation's CATCH 22

Open thoughts:

This is a para to which i have been grappling with and am unclear on the purpose of the para of the Reserve Bank of India.

Para 11.11 Any utilization / draw down of the credit enhancement should be immediately written-off by debit to the profit and loss account.Should it be construed that for transactions in the nature of securitisations, we should not be providing for collections losses upfront at the time of securitisation as laid down by ICAI's guidance note and should record the loss on an "actual" basis. Go ahead and crack this question on the Catch 22 phrase

The opinions expressed above are solely mine and are not to be construed to be thrust upon others. Views and feedback are invited.

Romeo and Juliets Love fable - part deux

This is the tale of my beloved who will always be my first choice;
At every rendezvous, she would say Vicky i love you in her melodious voice.

I always cherished the moment when i met her for the first time in front of our office gate;
she was the most beautiful girl in the world, but second to Winslett Kate.

She was simple stunning, reminded me of the calm seas and the beautiful sunset;
she was definitely sweeter than all the pastries and cakes made at the cake shop Mc Renett.

Her long tresses, bright forehead, cultured face, ooof as gentle as a feather;
wherever she went spring was the weather.

Hands in hands, eyes to eyes, heart to heart, we spoke across that restaraunt table;
Somewhere my instincts told me, my love story would end up like the tragic Romeo and Juliets' love fable.

As i ate, i smelt smoke, thought i will alert the beautiful waitress to sound the fire alarm;
to my horror, "her" dad was fuming with an AK 47 in his arm.

Bang went the bullets, right in my head, as i lay dead ma girl hollered;
Wake up son, its time to buy potatoes mom ordered.

Question: What is the name of the class of organic compounds with the general formula R-OH, where R represents an alkyl group made up of carbon and hydrogen, and OH represents one or more Hydroxl groups?.....

Answer : Alchohol

xanga haiku catch 22 websites

Here are some of the great websites which i have visited in the past few months.

FOR CUBICLE WARRIORS
http://cuberules.com/ Getting lost in a cubicle corporation? Use Scot Herrick’s site to launch your career over the partitioned wall. Click the “Career Management Resources” link for articles on leadership, interviewing and working with management, or read the “30 Career Management Tips” series, which includes “Know Why You Work Where You Work,” “Network Through Change,” and “Watch What People Do, Not What They Say.” The site also features links to dozens of career management and productivity Web sites.

SHARE BIG IDEAS
http://www.pando.com/Have you ever been unable to e-mail or instant message large files to your clients or co-workers? Visit this site to download Pando, a free software program that lets users send files, videos and audio clips—as large as 1 gigabyte—via e-mail or instant messenger or post them to Web sites. The application supports private and secure transfers from within your existing accounts and is compatible with all major e-mail and IM clients.

FOR THE JET SET
http://www.businesstravel.com/ Find out how to deal with flight delays and remove stains from your favorite suit, all on the same site. You can read articles aimed at frequent flyers or book flights, rental cars and hotel rooms. Click to find business-info links, travel resources such as currency converters, and a list of foreign tourism bureaus.

Templates and Toolshttp://www.morebusiness.com/
This Web stop offers entrepreneurs information on everything from raising capital to retirement planning. The Templates section includes sample business and marketing plans and checklists on buy/sell agreements and data warehousing. Business How-Tos gives visitors tips on building their own Web sites and marketing their services. Also check out the site’s large collection of financial calculators to estimate the alternative minimum tax and estate tax, car lease payments and long-term investment yields.

Search for a soul searching mate

My tryst with girls began when i took my first date to have pizza;
in an hour of conversation, she was even more complicated than drawing mona lisa.

The next one was beautiful, i took her out to the beach;
Sang her songs, wrote her poetry, all she said papa dont preach.

The next one was a BOMB, i took her to the disco for some whirls;
To my horror, i discovered she was puffing smoke swirls.

Well this one was gossipy, i wish i could shut her mouth with some cello tape;
Her broken words, bad grammar, ooooff definite English rape.

This one set my heart on fire;
on first sight she became my burning desire.

I quickly realised, she was even more dangerous than Shane Warne's flipper;
ask my toothache, it will tell you the story of her slipper.

Many more girls, many more adventures, many more dates;
pity me, i still haven't been able to find my soul searching mate.

Question: Striated, cardiac and smooth are three types of which tissue?

Anwer - Muscle

Experiences of my first love

Experiences of my first love, i don't speak with much pride;
How i wish, she could have become my bride.

Met her for the first time under a jasmine tree;
Her beautiful face sent me on a poetry spree.

Movies we went, together we sipped soda and ice;
On the phone, we spoke three hours a day and thrice.

Her beauty was definitely worth all the poetry made on the moon and the stars;
she was the find of this millennium like they discovered water on mars.

Couldn't hide my feelings for her anymore, it was the last straw;
she became my most favourite subject replacing tax and law.

On bended knees and closed eyes, i said i love you;
ever since you come into my life, its been too good to be true.

She said i love you too, but in a different way mister;
and i am ready to tie the knot but as a (rakhi) sister.

Never saw her again, searched for her stride by stride;
How i wish she could still become my bride.

Question - What word, German in origin describes pleasure to be obtained from the misfortune of others?
Answer - Schadenfreude